WADDUP GUISEEEEE

I am reviving my ancient blog because I've recently heard many people talking bout their blogs, and I've been reading through my friends blogs which makes me wanna post too ha ha.

Just a rough update of my life since ... 2010, the last time i posted(???)

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I've graduated from Regent Secondary 2 years back, spent 2012 partly wasted , i mean spend a year on hiatus from studying because of personal reasons, and I'm finally going back to school this year :) I've recently went for the NAFA and Lasalle's audition for their diploma courses, and I'm very Happy to say that I've been accepted into both schools!!!!! *\o/* 

I've decided to accept NAFA's offer and I'm going to be doing the Diploma in Dance. :)

Its been a dream come true for me to be accepted into even just 1 of the schools! Am just in awe of what is happening and... This feels so surreal... Am thankful to the friends and family who have supported me since way back when. I'm also thankful that, though I'm lagging behind by a year, I'm thankful that through this time, I've grown so much as a person and as a dancer.. Truly blessed and loved :') 

Through 2012, I've learnt so much and grown so much as a person.. Thinking back, will i want to go through it again? ...Perhaps not, but one thing i know for sure is that 2012 is not a wasted year. Many people may not understand why I wasted a year or why I did not apply for the dance the year before.. But its okay, because had I auditioned in last year, I will not be sure whether I can even get through the auditions..

To the people out there who happened to view my humble blog from googling words like 'NAFA' or "Lasalle" or "dance", like i had earlier on this year and viewed many people's blog regarding this; 

The audition is not as hard as many people will say it, neither is it easy to enter. Take risks and see what your body can do, the sky is the limit to everything :) Hard work and Passion is EVERYTHING. It does not matter if you started dancing when you were 5 or when you were 15, keep trying, keep experimenting, keep working hard and keep pushing yourself. I, myself started dancing when i was 13.

I'm not sure if this might be my first - and last post EVER, but whatever the case is, keep fighting for the things that matters to you :)

Till then.

Inevitable

Goodbyes, heartbreaks, sadness and change, are inevitable.
As much as I hate all of these, it will still happen.
Time and time again I try to push myself away from people so that I will not feel this way, but You have proven to me that it is completely fine to trust in all of these.
Yes I don't like to feel this way, but to advance to a higher level, this must happen.

Moving on to a greater and fresher start... Firmly believe that You have greater plans in stored.

My heart and my soul yearns for some glimmer of hope in a certain situation, but yet time again I am just faced with a fact that the outcome will always be the same.
I don't want to feel this way! But the results never fail to disappoint me...
Thinking of what will happen to me in the future, I don't want to have a hardened heart...

My mind seems to have a life of its own, though I will try my best not to over think and worry, my mind never fails to lead me there.
I don't want to think bout it...

Desperately in need of someone whom I can just talk to, someone who will just listen... And let me pour my heart out without judging or giving comments...
Right now I just need someone to listen to, feeling like there's so many things in my heart though there isn't...

How bad do I want this?

The reason for me being so successful a few years back was because I would question myself on a daily, if not hourly about how bad and how much do I want this?
I would always ask myself, how bad do I want this? What am I willing to sacrifice for it? What would I do before I can achieve it?

Now looking back, I pray and wish that I will have that mentality and continue to question myself this on a daily basis.
Motivation does not come to you, you look for the motivation to keep you going. And here I am pushing hard to get that motivation and drive again, in all the aspects of my life..

Be it in ministry, studies, family and dancing, how much am I willing to sacrifice for it?
I want to be able to look back and know that I have done my best, to know that I want that so badly.

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Was just reading a book just now, and the main character suffered a lot but in the end, she managed to graduate with a full degree of dance choreography. Though this is just some fictional story, I would definitely wish that I am able to reach such a level.
With all these things surfacing in my life showing how I want this, I need to get my butt off lazing around.
With hard work and pain, I can achieve what I want...

On a random note, I find it completely normal and I actually love it when I perspire during dance, but I absolutely hate it when I perspire doing something else. Walking, running, standing under the sun etc...
I love the tiredness of my body, the muscle aches I feel and the blisters that never fail to form under my feet.
Proves to show how hard I am pushing myself.
Now is the time to apply this in my studies.

Looking 7 months ahead, I will NOT regret this.
How bad do I want this?

We can watch the sunrise

Why am I not surprise with the things that are happening now?

Was thinking bout everything last night and I guess we are at a stage 4 or 5...
Somewhere somehow I guess one of us stopped trying.
Will still and am still trying, I'm not gonna let this just fall.

Of all the things that are happening, I cannot believe that the things I thought would never happen is happening now...
At times I ask myself why is this happening? Yet at times I am thankful that this is happening...

Still trying to swallow the lump in my throat

I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper

Why do we pretend nothing is wrong when EVERYTHING is wrong?
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Time to be real...
I guess somehow, somewhere along the way I've changed.
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Help me, save us, save me.

Close your precious eyes and just realize I'm still fighting

I am...
Anticipating many awesome things coming soon this year.
The future has been pretty much set. Church, family time, getting over with O's and dancing.

I find it such a joke to look at myself from a different point of view.
Imagining myself, seeing a physical me doing the things I do. I tell myself, Study hard, yet here I am wasting my time...
Looking at Me through my eyes, am I happy with what I am?
Guess it's not up to me to decide.

A year before, I still remembered what i did. Thank You for that..... Am advancing to yet another level. Be strong Eugenia.

I don't want to wake up and find, that I let another year go by, wasted.

I thought I was ready to bleed.

I just had the time of my life a few days back. Dancing in yet a whole new level.
Dancing for the audience of One. Wow that is just an honor for me and such a blessing and joy!
Hope Conf just brought me to a new level.
I guess this is time for me to get to know myself better. I feel that people know me better than I know myself...


For all the joy and happiness, it must obviously come to an end. Though my heart is still praying that studies can wait,
I'm still hoping with a fragile heart that my studies will have a 180 degree transformation. Still staying positive knowing that all good things come to those who wait on Him...

Just a short reminder to myself: please rest. Take time to think and renew myself.
Am keeping a fighting spirit knowing that above all these situations, You are still watching me, looking after me.


I know for sure that my future is in Your hands.